I'm getting married/having a baby/turning 30! Give me STUFF!

I don't want to buy a ton of new stuff for our house; that's the whole purpose of this blog. I will however, need certain necessities, like shower curtains and maybe a new towel or two. Eventually, bit by bit, we will buy the very few items we would like for our house, which will hopefully last for a very long time. Practical things.

Inexpensive, local art. Plants. Things that make us happy and that serve a purpose. Things that will make our house a home.

I think my friends all think I am the most giant spaz about money and trying to stay home and save. I got an endless amount of shit for it this weekend from a former roommate of mine.

"I can't believe you're not coming out for my 30th birthday party! Everyone will be there! Wahhhhh!"

Guess what? A million of us are turning fucking 30 this year. I'm turning 30, too. With the exception of a few really good friends (new duplexmates and a BFF) I am NOT participating in every. single. fucking 30th birthday party that is going on, as I'm moving in a month and trying to save money.

"Let's go to Uptown and go out to eat and drink until we shit ourselves to celebrate! Buy me a gift, too!"

Yeah, I'll get right on that. You and the 92387892374 other people who want the exact same thing at the exact same time.

I feel like I'm getting the bulk of invites for all this stuff at the worst possible time, too. We're moving a month from Wednesday and need to keep saving money. We've hired movers because I don't want scuffed walls and broken furniture from my male friends whom I love but handle our belongings carelessly. Morgan's mom has offered to help some with the move, which is incredibly kind of her and wasn't expected. Other than that, we're doing it on our own.

I don't know why friends aren't being more understanding of this. "Oh, just come out for a drink and dinner!"

Seriously? A drink and dinner is about 20-30 bucks. If Morgan and I both go, it's double that. Plus I'll be getting you a gift for whatever said event this is. If I say yes to this one, I have to say yes to the rest of them since these are all people who hang together. NO.

Then there's the never ending baby showers/wedding showers/bachelorette parties/weddings. FUCKING. A. MAN. I am so sick of doling out money for every single one of these events. I am officially on hiatus from all of them, minus the three I have already RSVPed to. In the springtime, these invites come in droves.

Like my mom, who has decided to get married during the peak of foliage in Vermont! It's in a remote area that you can't fly directly into, and hotel rooms are around 250 bucks A night.

That's really great. You just expect people to do this for you? My mom can't even pay for the DJ but she expects us to gladly take off lots of time from work and spend money out of our asses for an endless amount of things she wants, that she herself cannot afford.

Or an evite I recently received for a bachelorette party that said "The bride-to-be doesn't want you to spend a lot of money, so please just get her lingerie for her honeymoon and keep it around or under 30 bucks."

This made me laugh so hard I farted.

Are you kidding me? How is that cheap? And for something that is going to be given to you in mass quantity and will be utilized what, 1 time each? I may as well just hand you some money and set it on fire. If they asked for a donation to a favorite charity or a practical household item, I'd probably feel a lot differently about it, but even then I may ask if I could participate after the May move.

I realize I may sound like a greedy, money grubbing woman who is holding fast to money like it's my last saving grace, but I don't really care.

Morgan and I will be together officially for 10 years in February. We should throw a party to get some free shit, too. So should anyone who is single, or just plain living in any way, shape, or form, and taking care of themselves, just to get some fucking kickback for those of us who have had to pay out in mass quantities to all of these events.

This isn't me being greedy, this is me being fed up with people wanting to be rewarded for getting married and adding on to the already overabundant population, and any other life-changing events that may happen to some of us. I am not a confrontational person, but I'm getting there. The next time I hear someone say "Aw, you can't make it to such and such? why not?"

Why not? Because everyone wants a handout! Everyone wants shit for getting married/having a kid/hitting a landmark birthday. Mama Tara's purse is closed for business.

I also understand these people are super happy and excited about these life-changing events, whatever they may be. Great! I'm truly happy for you! I'm excited for mine, too! However, no one's throwing me a "you're moving to a place closer to work and not getting married or having kids" party.

The thing is, I'd never expect someone to give me something for any of those things. A flock of soon to be married/babied/30'ed people shouldn't expect it from every single person they know, either. I truly do appreciate your thought to include me, but sometimes we can't do it all. Growing older has shown me two important things:

• you don't need to accumulate "stuff" to make you happy, and
  
• don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do or are financially unable to do.
  

It doesn't mean I don't love these people. It means I don't need to show my affection with an endless barrage of gifts and money.

Once we're moved into our new place in Minneapolis, we're going to throw a party.
We won't ask for a gift.
If you can't make it, there will be no badgering and no guilt trips.
I promise you, we'll understand.